The Shulman Center

Terrence Shulman
JD, LMSW, ACSW, CAAC, CPC
Founder/Director of
The Shulman Center

Terry Shulman

July 2011 Monthly e-Newsletter
"True Freedom"
By Terrence Daryl Shulman

               HAPPY BIRTHDAY TERRY SHULMAN! June 27th


                                     
  HAPPY 4th of JULY!


                          Upcoming and Recent Events!!!



May 15--Mr. Shulman featured in article on hoarding and families In May/June issue of Social Worker Today. See http://www.socialworktoday.com/archive/051711p14.shtml

June 2-5--Mr. Shulman presented on compulsive theft and spending at the 2nd Annual West Coast Symposium on Addictive Disorders in Palm Springs, California. See www.wcsad.com

July 29--Mr. Shulman will be conducting a full-day in-service on compulsive theft, spending and hoarding at The State Bar of Michigan in Lansing, Michigan.


Check out our new online support group for compulsive shoppers/spenders and hoarders. Register by going to the link: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/shoppersandspenders/

Check out our 1-hour employee theft online course. Learn why people commit employee theft, how to deter it, and what to do when confronted with it. See http://theshulmancenter.c360training.com

New sites in progress! www.celebrityshoplifters.com and www.celebrityshopaholics



MR. SHULMAN'S NEW BOOK RELEASE DATE: AUGUST 1, 2011!
Mr. Shulman's 4th book Cluttered Lives, Emply Souls: Compulsive Stealing, Spending and Hoarding will be published by Infinity Publishing. See www.clutteredlives.com


UPCOMING CONFERENCE OCTOBER 1st EARLY BIRD DISCOUNT DATE: JULY 1st: $100!

The Shulman Center will conduct an all-day conference in Detroit Saturday October 1, 2011. The Third International Conference on Compulsive Theft, Spending and Hoarding will cover shoplifting addiction, kleptomania, employee theft, compulsive shopping/overspending, and hoarding/cluttering disorders. Please see info/registration/discounts  at http://www.theshulmancenter.com/conference11.htm

BOOK of The MONTH!
The Secret Lives of Hoarders by Matt Paxton (Penguin, 2011). A great book by Mr. Paxton, an expert cleaner on A&E's "Hoarders" TV Show. This book outlines how Mr. Paxton got into this business and he highlights about ten different cases he's worked with. Photographs are included. See www.cluttercleaner.com


INTIMACY with MONEY WORKSHOP in BOULDER, COLORADO in JULY!
Sacred Odyssey and Intimacy with Money programs  offer a weekend program for couples with 4 months of group coaching (2x/month) at a special rate! Contact Tom Lietaert at tom@sacredodyssey.com. Mention The Shulman Center. See www.sacredodyssey.com.
 
WCSAD CONFERENCE UPDATE
My wife and I spent three days in the Palm Springs, CA area in early June. I presented on compulsive theft, spending and hoarding at the 2nd Annual West Coast Symposium on Addictive Disorders. The conference attracted over 500 people from all across North America and beyond. It was mostly attended by mental health professionals. There was plenty of sessions on drug and alcohol abuse but this particular conference is very progressive in its highlighting of various addictive and compulsive disorders as well as the latest theories, statistics and hot topics. I'd highly recommend this conference and plan on attending--and maybe presenting again--next June. See www.wcsad.com.

THE LESSONS of ANTHONY WEINER
By now, most if not all have heard of the recent trials and tribulations of "former" New York Rep. Anthony Weiner. Whatever your political or religious affiliation or your thoughts about what constitutes infidelity, this story offers potential lessons for us all.

First, think of a time when you were caught doing something embarrassing. How did that feel? Why did you do what you did? Did you really think you would get away with it? What were the consequences? Was it worth it? What did you learn from it? Were you hoping you wouldn't be judged?
Whether it was getting caught shoplifting, stealing from work, hiding a purchase, or hiding your hoarding, we're all imperfectly human: that's what makes us such a fascinating species.

Here are some things worth keeping in mind about the Anthony Weiner case (or any number of the other scandals or shocking actions of those in our midst).

1. The cover-up is usually worse than the crime.
There's been speculation that if Rep. Weiner had just admitted his actions immediately rather than denied them and sought professional help quickly that he might have survived this ordeal without having to resign. But when we lie on top of being exposed, it makes things infinitely more difficult. Very few people survive this (though there are exceptions).

2. People never cease to amaze at what we're capable of.
In this world of increased risk-taking and technological advances, it's hard to believe anybody can be shocked anymore by anything; yet, it happens.

3. It's not about sex, it's about narcissism. Just as sexual assault, harassment and rape are not about sex but about power, most psychologists who've been interviewed about the Weiner matter theorize that it was narcissism not sex that compelled Rep. Weiner to engage in his risky and destructive behavior. The need for constant adulation appears to be increasing in our world. Rep. Weiner even refused at first to leave his high-profile job, likely for both financial and prestige reasons. Sometimes we have to lose a lot to find out who we really are.

4. Judge not lest you be judged. While we have to right to judge a person's actions and have opinions about the rightness or wrongness of them, it's better to focus on one's apparent lack of judgment than to judge that person through and through. Who among us has never exhibited poor judgment?
 
5. Public officials are and should be held to a higher standard. It's been said that here in America we hold our public figures to much too high moral and personal standards compared to other countries. And, yet, we are also becoming very cynical, too. Politicians, actors, entertainers and others in the public eye are just human beings like all of us. Whether it's Hugh Grant cheating on his fiancee Elizabeth Hurley with a transvestite prostitute or Winona Ryder shoplifting from Saks Fifth Avenue, people are people. In fact, one could say that the pressures of being a public official or celebrity weigh heavily on such folks and make it more surprising when they don't succumb to scandal. Yet, when public officials run for election on traits of honesty, integrity, and good judgment, we do have the right to hold them to high standards.

6. It's best to leave work when in a severe crisis and focus on getting well. As stated earlier, when in crisis, it's often best to take a break to re-center oneself. Being in the midst of a media circus is distracting for others and makes it quite a bit harder for us to focus on ourselves and our loved ones.

7. What doesn't kill us, hopefully will make us stronger. If we look at how many people fall from grace and manage to come back and reinvent themselves or reclaim some modicum of respect--Bill Clinton, Eliot Spitzer, Robert Downey, Jr., even Richard Nixon--this should tell us that as much as we often root for the downfall of others, we tend to admire and be inspired by those who "rise from the ashes." Americans, especially, love a comeback story. And who among us hasn't learned and grown from our own mistakes and misfortunes. This is what recovery is all about.

So, I hope Rep. Weiner gets the help he needs and deserves as a human being. Time will tell. Let us remember this saying: "there's a little Weiner in all of us."



Why Would a Socialite Steal? by Ann Binlot June 15, 2011
Until yesterday, New York socialite Beata Boman was most famous for receiving an affectionate kiss in St. Tropez from Prince Andrew, according to the Daily Mail. But that all changed when Boman was arrested for stealing a $11,500 scarf from upscale store Richards of Greenwich in Greenwich, Connecticut, Tuesday evening.

The Polish-born beauty was nabbed by police after a security guard followed her out of the store and alerted them to her location. Police told the AP that she admitted taking the scarf and that she had planned to return it. Boman follows in the illustrious footsteps of Lindsay Lohan and Winona Ryder, who were both arrested for shoplifting even though they had the means to pay for the items they stole. What could possibly bring the socialite, who describes herself in her Facebook profile as a "former model" and fashion designer, to steal?

While it's easy to question why a wealthy person would shoplift, it's rarely about having the money to buy designer clothes and expensive baubles. "It usually is not about the money or lack of money," Terrence Shulman, founder and director of The Shulman Center for Compulsive Theft, Spending & Hoarding and author of "Something for Nothing: Shoplifting Addiction and Recovery," told ARTINFO. "It's a cry for help."

Shulman cites depression, anxiety, entitlement, or loss as possible reasons why the 38-year-old could have taken the scarf. "When you take something, it may seem to help those emotions inside," said Shulman.

Bowman, who was charged with first-degree larceny, posted $5,000 bond and is scheduled to appear in court in Stamford, Connecticut on June 20. Whatever the reason for shoplifting, Bowman appeared unscathed after the incident, making it to the second-annual AmFAR Inspiration Gala a few hours later, where she was photographed with fellow socialite Fabiola Beracasa and her boyfriend.

See: http://www.artinfo.com/news/story/37889/why-would-a-socialite-steal/ 

 

Contact: The Shulman Center

Terrence Daryl Shulman, JD, LMSW, ACSW, CAAC, CPC
Founder/Director, The Shulman Center
P.O. Box 250008
Franklin, Michigan 48025

E-mail:
terrenceshulman@theshulmancenter.com

Call (248) 358-8508 for free consultation!

Related sites by Terrence Shulman:
www.theshulmancenter.com
www.kleptomaniacsanonymous.com
www.shoppingaddictions.org
www.shopliftingaddictions.com
www.terrenceshulman.com
www.shopaholicsanonymous.org
www.employeetheftsolutions.com
www.somethingfornothingbook.com

www.bitingthehandthatfeeds.com
www.boughtoutandspent.com
www.hoardingtherapy.com
www.hoardersanonymous.org


Books:
Something For Nothing
Biting The Hand That Feeds
Bought Out and $pent

Products for Purchase--ON SALE through 2011!

Mr. Shulman's three books:
 "Something for Nothing: Shoplifting Addiction & Recovery"
"Biting The Hand That Feeds: The Employee Theft Epidemic... New Perspectives, New Solutions,"
and "Bought Out and $pent! Recovery from Compulsive $hopping and $pending"
are available for $25.00 each (includes shipping/handling).

Click here to purchase

E-mail Mr. Shulman:
terrenceshulman@theshulmancenter.com

or

Call  (248) 358-8508

size=2 width="100%" align=center>